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Sex after a heart attack? Too many women say, 'No way'

Up to 70 percent of women who survive a heart attack avoid sexual activity — often forever — out of fear it will trigger another episode.
And their doctors rarely advise them otherwise.
Lauren Streicher, associate clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Northwestern University's Feinberg School of Medicine, wants to change that.

"My mission is to bring these taboo topics out in the open," Streicher said. "Heart disease is only one example of a medical problem that can sabotage someone's sex life."
It's the example she's talking about Friday, when she takes part in the women's cardiovascular symposium at Northwestern Medicine's Prentice Women's Hospital. (Tickets and more information here.)
"We're living in a time when women are surviving their heart attacks," Streicher told me. "Now we're looking at survivorship. We're looking at quality of life. And we know that the overwhelming majority of women — even young women — never have sex again because they're terrified."
When a man with cardiovascular disease sees his physician, that physician is very likely to discuss how his heart health can affect his sex life.
"When a woman with heart disease goes to the doctor, no one is having that discussion with her," Streicher said. "It's like she's asexual."
Sexual activity after a heart attack can be safe, Streicher said. Women and their partners just need some guidance, as well as information on how and why sex may be a different experience post-attack.
"Women are often surprised to find that they have difficulties they didn't have before in terms of their ability to have an orgasm or suddenly experiencing pain or loss of libido," she said.
Up to 50 percent of women with significant coronary artery disease have a reduced ability to reach orgasm, Streicher writes in her book, "Sex Rx: Hormones, Health and Your Best Sex Ever" (Dey St.), which she'll draw from for Friday's symposium.
Too often, she said, women and their partners feel guilty for wanting a healthy sex life after a heart attack. It should be enough, they think, to simply be alive.
Add that to the fear of triggering another attack, and suddenly couples are avoiding physical contact altogether.
"Sex becomes no longer part of the relationship," she said. "It's a terrible situation, because now you're losing intimacy as well."
The ninth annual Women's Cardiovascular Symposium event is 8 a.m. to 12:15 p.m. Friday at Northwestern Medicine Prentice Women's Hospital, 250 E. Superior St., third floor conference center. Tickets are $25, and you can register

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Dear Coleen: We're getting married - but our sex life is already non-existent

Dear Coleen: Since my wife got pregnant our sex life is virtually non-existent

Dear Coleen

I’m a 27-year-old man and my partner is 26. We have an 18-month-old child, but since we conceived 27 months ago we have only had sex twice.
The pregnancy was easy in general for her, but before she got pregnant, she didn’t have a particularly high sex drive.
I have tried to talk to her about our sex life and even suggested that we could go to see the doctor together, but she has refused.
I have tried taking things slowly, and I’ve also tried romantic evenings, but when we get into bed she always says she is not in the mood.
I am being very patient, but I’m beyond frustrated and I’m starting to think that I’m the problem and not her.
To add to the pressure, we have a wedding planned. I would like to be with her for the rest of our lives, but when I try to talk to her about how I’m feeling and what I’d like, I get shut down.
How can I marry her when our sex life is non-existent and she gives me no indication that it will ever change in the future? What can I do?

Coleen says

You’re a young man and naturally sex is something that’s an important part of your relationship.
It sounds to me as if you’ve tried really hard to be sensitive to her and to create situations to help her feel special, loved and desired.
So, I think now you need to be more direct. Yes, you love her very much, but you have to sort out this problem because, as things stand, the relationship isn’t working for you and you’re not prepared to commit to marriage while things are so uncertain.
Please don’t be lured into believing that once you’re married things will change. They won’t.
The danger if you carry on the way you are, is that you’ll become so frustrated and fed up with the lack of intimacy in your relationship that you’ll sleep around or have an affair.
And all the blame will be placed on your shoulders because people won’t understand why you’ve cheated on her.
At the moment she’s refusing to see the doctor and shutting down conversations, but she has to be honest with you about her reasons. And you have to accept that those reasons might hurt.
Maybe it is something the doctor can help with, or maybe her sex drive is just non-existent now she’s tired from looking after a small child.
Whatever it is, you need to know. For any relationship to last long-term you need to be compatible sexually.
It’s fine if neither of you is bothered about sex, but that’s not the case – and it’s making you feel bad about yourself and your relationship.
It’s arrogant of her to assume that you’ll happily walk up the aisle while such an important part of your relationship isn’t working.

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Female Orgasms Can Be Achieved By The Right Sex Positions: Study

It has nothing to do with the size of a penis, it turns out, but everything to do with the right position.
According to a recent report by the Mayo Clinic and the Indiana University School of Medicine, while factors like psychology, penis size and the G-spot seem important to achieve a female orgasm, researchers say it all comes down to stimulating the clitoris.
"This gives us a more scientific and anatomical basis for why people aren’t achieving orgasm than just the societal feelings of penis size or G-spot placement," author Dr. Jason Siegel of Mayo Clinic told the Daily Mail.
"If we start identifying different reasons people aren’t achieving orgasms, that can give patients a little more hope that if they bring it up to their doctor, they can be diagnosed and helped," he added.
Researchers analyzed previous studies on neuro-anatomy and sexuality, Maxim notes, and found for men, "delicate play" was vital for them to achieve the big O.
But for women, things got a little more complex. Rather than focusing on intercourse itself, the best way for women to reach an orgasm was by moving or 'migrating" the clitoris towards the vaginal wall.
As the Daily Mail adds, researchers stated "doggy style" wasn't the best option for women to achieve orgasms, but rather the good old missionary positions as well as the "cowgirl."
And if you are tired of the missionary position altogether, experts at Cosmo say other positions that will end in an orgasm include the face-to-face straddle and having sex on the side. Of course, you can always change up the scenery too — having sex in a new location might help you get the blood flow going.
"Orgasms are com-plex phenomena involving psychological, physiological, and anatomic variation," researchers note.
"While these variations predispose people to certain sexual function, future research should explore how to surgically or medica

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